When can I have sex?

Under 16

If you are under 16, no-one is allowed to have sex with you .

Even if you agree to have sex with someone, it is still against the law for that person to have sex with you. They can be charged with a criminal offence.

A person may be able to defend themselves against such a charge if:

  • you agreed to have sex with them; AND
  • you were 10 years or older at the time of having sex ; AND
  • EITHER they were not more than 2 years older than you ; OR they “believed on reasonable grounds” that you were 16 or older.

Just because someone doesn’t ask your age doesn’t mean that they have ‘reasonable grounds’ to believe that you are 16 or over.

16 and above

Once you are 16, you can legally have sex with any other person who is 16 or over as long as you both agree to it.

Is the law the same for sex with all genders?

Yes, the law is the same for heterosexual sex (sex between a male and a female), homosexual sex (sex between two people of the same genders) and sex between people of any gender.

WHO CAN I TALK TO ABOUT HAVING SEX?

Deciding to have sex with someone is a big step. The decision is up to you. If you feel pressured to have sex, or if you’re not sure, you can say no. The other person must respect your choice. If they try to have sex with you without your permission, they are committing a crime (see “What if I didn’t consent to the sexual activity”).

If you are thinking about having sex with someone, you need to be aware of the risks. Sex (including oral and anal sex) carries with it a risk of contracting a sexually transmissible infection (STIs) like chlamydia and blood borne viruses (BBVs) like HIV. The best way to avoid being infected with an STI is to use condoms and lube, or other safer sex tools like dams and gloves. Before you have sex, you should learn how to use these protect yourself and use these tools properly.

Another risk is unplanned pregnancy. If you plan to have sex with someone of the opposite sex, you should learn about the different kinds of contraception, like condoms and birth control pills. Both males and females need to consider the risk of unplanned pregnancy, and talk to each other about what kind of contraception they feel comfortable using. Be aware that “The Pill” will reduce the likelihood of unplanned pregnancy, but will not protect against STIs and BBVs.

Some good people to talk about these issues with include your parent or guardian, doctor, or the following health providers:

  • Sexual Health and Family Planning ACT• 02 6247 3077 • Provides sexual and reproductive healthcare and counselling services. This service is for both males and females.
  • ACT Women’s Health Service • 02 6205 1078 • Provides sexual and reproductive healthcare and counselling services. This service is for women and girls who identify as Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander, or those who experience barriers to accessing health services, such as violence, disability, or poverty.
  • Like It Is - Provides information on sex, sexuality, contraception, etc. This service is for both males and females.
WHAT IF I DID NOT CONSENT TO THE SEXUAL ACTIVITY?

If someone performs a sexual act on you (this can be intercourse, oral sex or touching your genitals or breasts) and you did not consent to it, this is called sexual assault and it is a criminal offence .

Remember that you can say “yes” to some sexual activities, and “no” to others. Letting someone kiss you, for example, doesn’t mean they can touch you in other ways without your permission. Even if you say “yes” to sex, you can always change your mind if you begin to feel uncomfortable. You have the right to decide what happens to your body.

Consent means agreeing to have sex voluntarily and with a clear mind. If you say “yes” to sex while you are drunk or high, or because the other person’s actions make you scared to say “no,” this doesn’t count as consent. Likewise, there is no consent when the person who agrees to sex has a serious mental or intellectual disability that affects their ability to understand what is happening.

Always double check that the person you want to have sex with is sober and is comfortable with the decision to have sex. Asking “are you sure?” won’t make you look silly – it shows that you care, and it keeps you out of trouble.

Read more on the Sexual Assault Lawstuff page

The content on this page was last updated on 2 May 2011

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